WHEN THE RIGHT SEEMS WRONG...

Do you think people still listen to the chirping of the birds in the morning or the musical whistling of crickets at night in a world where everyone seems to be caught up in the rat race? Well if like me, you live in the countryside where birds still perch on window pane, and crickets hide in grasses growing on the side walk, you will certainly be forced to acknowledge their existence and listen to their musical notes.

I live in a town called Akute, a small community often referred to as the boarder between Lagos and Ogun State. Many people are oblivious of the fact that 70% of the people who reside in this town make their living in Lagos and only come home in the evenings (late at night sometimes, thanks to the traffic jam) to unwind.

Apparently on week days, the town comes awake as early as 4am. Waking up early is one of the most active vaccine against the insufferable traffic congestion that mounts upon the narrow road and the only sensible route that connects Akute to Ojodu (an area in Lagos) every morning. Thus fathers, mothers, children-including babies resign to the fate of keeping up this routine of waking up early, whatever the weather or mood.

However, this morning and for the first time, I noticed that the beauty of Akute doesn't just stop with the chirping of the birds, the whistling of the crickets or the calm breeze that blows peacefully through the streets. As I looked out through the side mirror of the bus I was traveling in, I noticed the beautiful line the vehicles trapped in the traffic jam has formed. The ones in front were a sight for sad eyes. The break light of each vehicles twinkled in the dark of the early morning and together, they formed a trail of red shadows trickling through the road.

As if offended by my admiration of this sight, a danfo bus broke out of the lane and another followed impatiently, driving towards the opposite lane and disrupting the normal flow of vehicles. Before I could spell 'Jack', the narrow road was thrown into Chaos as everyone wanted to move at the same time. Angry drives cursed as they hoot their horn non-stop to express their frustration.

The seconds ran into minutes, still we were almost at the same spot. I checked my wristwatch, it was 7.25am. The once cool atmosphere now seems tensed. The only vehicles that were moving were the ones driving against the traffic, the ones that stayed on the legal lane barely moved. “Driver, you no go follow them?” one of the passengers moaned, pointing to the other drivers who confidently broke the traffic law and other passengers grunted and murmured in approval. The driver however stayed put, he was not about to let the desperation of passengers drive him into trouble of breaking the law- is there any out there?

WAITING FOR THE GOVERNMENT

“We are calling on the government to come to our aid...” or “we are waiting for the government to come and help us resolve this problem...” How often have you heard any of the above statements? It might have been in the news last night, or someone just murmured it in the bus you took this morning. Yes, almost everyone in Nigeria likes to wait for the government for this and that. What kind of government, perhaps those that make legislations, the elected leaders of the people?

There is nothing wrong in depending on the government, however, think about this for a minute: A trailer fell into a ditch, fortunately, no one is hurt, but the trailer is badly crushed. People gather at the scene and as if on a planned mission, everyone starts blaming one person- no not the sober driver still in his drunken state, but the government. They all spend the next 30 minutes moaning about how bad the Nigerian government has been and how democracy is doing no good. Then with a heavy sigh, someone calls on President Yar'adua to come to their aid. And do what? Maybe to come and spank the driver for driving while drunk and give him module 101 lessons on the danger of reckless driving or to mobilize local brick layers to build a barricade between the main road and the ditch.

Do you agree that 80% of the problems we most times blame on the government can be avoided if we all take personal responsibility for our actions? For instance, a baby falls off his mother's back and the father blames it on the government, a student fails an examination and blames it on the system etc. instead of learning from the situation and build on a better principle.

Another issue that baffles me is the recent call being made to the government to re-introduce “fashion police” and arrest indecently dressed ladies. I would recommend that the policy be extended to include arresting the parents of the youths for allowing their children or wards walk around half naked. Where is the power of parental responsibility gone?

Nigeria is still rated one of the richest country in Africa...including in human resources, yet a large percent of Nigerians suffer from poverty of the mind. This has reflected on the way we depend on government to do things we can easily do or achieve on our own. We should start thinking creatively on how we can tackle local issues that affect the Nation and not just wait for the government for petty issues when they are yet to succeed in solving the big matters.

You and the bag you carry...

Have you ever wondered about the origin of handbags? Handbags have been essential to fashion history ever since people have had something precious to carry around with them and only the items have changed over time. I started a conversation in my class recently about items we carry in our bags, partly out of boredom and partly out of curiosity of wanting to know what a few of my classmates carry around in their bags. For instance, one of them has a very small bag which we call “One chance bag” because of its ridiculous size. However, the bag may be small but it sure has the unique skill of hiding precious goodies in it. One day she exclaimed “You won’t believe it take almost an hour to find anything in this small bag”!

Asking another classmate what was the most precious item in her bag, she said her bible, only to whisper later there was none in her bag. Other items the rest of the discussants stated as most important in their bags include: Radio transistor- to keep entertainment going while on the go, wallet- holds cash and necessary contacts and ID card, midget- can never tell where you will meet the news, notebooks-can’t risk recopying class notes, MP3-holds important music and documents files, Digital camera-to take record of important moments etc. Although the above listed were individual’s most important items, imagine one bag carrying all of them? Now who ever carry such bag will have to stay conscious and keep the bag close 24/7 so as not to fall victim of bag snatchers…

My friend went out one day only to come back home without her bag. If the bag had been snatched by pickpockets, then the story will be easier to tell. According to her, she went to see one of her familiar stranger-friend, while they were taking a walk, he suggested to hold her bag… a little distraction and phew! Neither the bag nor the guy was any where to be found. That was how she lost her two phones, ATM card, other IDs etc. to this smart thief. Can you beat that?

Bags in the past were used to show status - the richer the person, the more elaborate the bag. What does the bag you carry say about you? You can never tell who is watching you open your bag, or who wants to make friends because of the kind of bag you carry, all the same, stay alert and keep your bag clean.

The Prescription

The buzz on my friend's phone has just startled me back to the reality of teenage pregnancy. She received a text from an old friend requesting for a prescription of a drug for abortion. Will it surprise you to hear that my friend is neither a nurse nor a pharmacist? Yet her friend was really depending on her help to sort out her problem. I can imagine the person sitting at the other end waiting patiently or impatiently for an answer that will enable her evacuate the baby forming in her womb.
There is no denial that girls (not women) are getting pregnant. Perhaps you know someone who is struggling with the challenges of being a Teenage Mother. As you read this article, another young girl is going through depression while trying to figure out whether to tell or just opt for abortion, ignorant of the danger it holds in its clutches.
Most girls often take abortion as the easiest way to escape taking responsibility for their action. This article however is not to give statistics of the number of girls getting pregnant or start up another social debate on the right or wrong of abortion. The bottom line is, these things are happening, how can the government, you and I take charge and help tackle the issue in our society?
Tackling Teenage pregnancy should be central to government to prevent or reduce infant mortality, child poverty and other related issues in our society. Prioritize a comprehensive sex and relationship education in our school curriculum even at primary school level...catching them young is a vital key. Also, government at local level should create a welfare grant for poor teenage mothers to enable them support themselves, thus reducing poverty. Building a well resourced youth information center at all levels where well trained counselors will also be positioned to address social issues affecting the young people can easily be achieved by partnering with corporate bodies and other NGOs working with youths. Providing things to do and places to go for young people to develop themselves will keep them occupied and away from trouble!
Meanwhile, the Parents can also play their role by ensuring their home is being built on good moral values. There is also a need for modern parents to cut down on activities that compete with family time and get interested in what their children are doing in life because the fundamental development of every child has a lot to do with his family. The society also must stop the social exclusion of Teenage mothers since majority of teenagers who opt for abortion do so out of fear of what people will say! We as young people should learn to minimize activities that expose us to compromising position, in simple words... delete activities that add no value to you and avoid hanging out with the wrong crowd since all it brings is trouble.

Cheer up guys!

The guys in my class almost set the school on fire last week with their burning anger. Well, the gist is that our first semester result was released on Monday and the reason why they were angry is because girls came tops in all the courses. They were not comfortable because girls are taking lead, and worse, they felt some of the girls who failed to fail use what they have to ensure that they succeeded (in a nutshell, some girls sleeping with lecturers to get better grades). It is a hilarious that guys usually jump into this weak conclusion anytime ladies seems to perform better than them in any level or at any setting. “Well, its because she is a girl...”.

I still do not understand why it is part of the human nature to tie so much relevance to someone's gender each time an issue is raised. During this year's international youth day conference, the facilitator asked the youth participants if they believe women will be better leaders in Nigeria...and as usual, we had a good number of the ladies shouting “yes”, a better number of the guys shouting “no”, while the quiet voice of some guys said “yes”. Now I ask, what has gender got to do with leadership role? It is not in our place to tie any sentiment to giving women responsibilities just because they are that- women.

Prof. Dora Akunyili, Dr. Okonji Iweala and Obiageli Ezekwesili to mention but a few are respectable women in Nigeria going about their business and making great impact ...but I doubt that the level they have attained is as a result of their gender. They have paid the price of developing themselves (and still doing just that to keep up-to-date) and today, they are getting the result we would all get if we do the same. It is not all about “Because they are women!”

We need to unlearn the thinking that gender have more to do with how far we go in life, if not we will find ourselves being limited and become a more grumpy generation. Millennium Development Goal 3 states: Promote Gender equality and empower women. Period. Not, from hence forth, men should become threatened because women are rising to take the lead. I do not blame my classmates for being so angry because girls are taking the lead in class, however, I hope they don't dwell on that posture of bitterness for too long and fail to study, if not, come next exam, they will still be where they are while girls keep blazing the trail!
Our society need people who are ready to take up responsibility because of their ability to tackle issues and effect change, not empty vessels lauding they should be given a chance to show what people of their gender can do! The next time you meet someone feeling intimidated by their gender or gender of others, please pass on this message, “Cheer up, life goes beyond the nature of your thingy. It is more about the stuff you are made of!”.

Parent Abuse!

The campaign is set higher. More voices are raised against child abuse. A very important issue organisations like UNICEF hold close to heart. Although so much is being said and done about child abuse, no one dare claim that the issue is overflogged because obviously our society is yet to understand that no child deserves to be abused.

How about Parent abuse? Silence. Nobody is talking about parent abuse. Does it really exist? In everyone's lifetime (maybe not everyone?), there have been one or two occassions when we concoiusly or unconciously abuse our parents.

Example: when we disrespect our parents or delibrately disobey instructions they give us, this is parent abuse! There are cases where children insult and talk back rudely to their parents. Even worse, older children fight or physically maltreat their parents. Also, expecting parents to always buy the best gifts for us during our birthdays, christmas etc. and never returning such gestures is equal to parent abuse!

The calibre of people children hang out with contributes to the level of ways they abuse their parents. When some children see their peers dressed in the latest fashion, play with expensive toys and spend more money, they tend to come home and demand for more without considering their parent's capability. In cases where parents fail to meet up to their expectation, these children become resentful and bitter towards their parents, thus they start wishing someone else's parent was their parent.

In a nutshell, parent abuse occur when children abuse their space, demand for more without appreciation, rebel, disobey, insult or physically harm their parents causing them emotional pain or distress. It is imperative for every child to think well of himself and conciously adopt a positive attitude towards his parents and encourage their friends to do same.

Parents who fail to live up to their responsibility to train their children well and maintain a good parent-child relationship risk being abuse in future. Therefore, it is crucial that the 21st century parents rise above the norms, put their feet down and not spare the rod.

LET THE YOUTHS BE HEARD!

A friend of mine once went for a programme where he happened to be the youngest participant, all the others were adults. After the first phase of the workshop, the facilitator asked if anyone had any comment or questions. My friend raised his hand but to his embarrassment, he was asked to put his hand down. “You are young, what do you know?” the facilitator asked laughably.

Is the syndrome of “young people should be seen and not heard” still in existence in this generation? Young people have valuable contributions to make to our society and must be given a voice that should be respected and incorporated into policies that affect the youths. In words of Kofi Anan, the former UN Secretary-General, a society that cuts itself from its youth serves its lifeline, but a society that engages their interest, enlists their talents and librates their energies bring hope to the entire world.

To be able to act effectively, young people need to be more sensitive to their environment and actively participate in activities that would develop their skills. Perhaps, if only the facilitator earlier mentioned had known that young people know a lot of things, he would not have restricted the young participant from sharing his views.

To let the youths be heard, we must not stop at only recognizing their freedom of speech or expression; it also includes giving them opportunities to participate in decision-making processes that affect them at all levels- home, school, government etc. and creating the forum, trust and responsibility to take action as a way of expressing their passion and dream for the future. Some youths who engage in frivolous activities such as internet scam, aristo and other delinquency do just that because they have nothing else they can engage their time fruitfully.

So much work still needs to be done in re-orientating our youths. The introduction of youth development ministry is a good way of starting up; having a youth development fund is a bonus that must be applauded. However, real action needs to be taken! Our education system needs to be refurbished, young people need to be given more opportunities to grow and have reasons to trust the government and the society they live in...