THE BULLY AND THE REST OF US!

I sat up quietly and listened. It was a few minutes past 12 midnight and I really wanted to sleep but I needed to keep my promise to stay up for this very long midnight call. On the other end of the phone was a young girl (called Tutu in this article) whom I have never met, probably not a day older than fifteen. She was being pressured to contest for a beauty pageant at school by a “senior” who seems to ever be in her shadow. The threat was that if she fails to contest, she will be severely punished by this senior and her “gang”. However, her participation in this social activity will mean hanging out a lot with the social freaks at school which will affect her studies. What should she do? Tutu’s issue is one we all know but never pay much attention to- BULLYING!
Bullying is an aggressive behavior which treats people in an overbearing, domineering or intimidating manner. Bullying is more psychological than physical, thus it does not necessarily involve any physical violence. This can be done through name calling or other verbal abuse, extortion, exclusion from activities or coercing someone to do something against her will (Such as in the case of Tutu). A bully is someone who is authoritarian, resentful, overbearing and who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people repeatedly to boost her self esteem. Bullying is everywhere, it is not restricted to schools alone- we have Workplace bullying, online bullying etc., remember the bullying row on Big Brother show in 2007 that had Jade Goody's racist bullying of Shilpa Shetty, and recently Alex De Gale launch of foul-mouthed outburst at her housemates.
The effects of bullying can be serious and even fatal. Mona O’Moore Ph. D of the Anti-Bullying Centre, Trinity College Dublin, said, "There is a growing body of research which indicates that individuals, whether child or adult who are persistently subjected to abusive behavior are at risk of stress related illness which can sometimes lead to suicide". Victims of bullying can suffer from long term emotional and behavioral problems. People who are bullied can suffer from loneliness, depression, anxiety, which can lead to low self-esteem and increased susceptibility to illness.
The reason why Tutu called me aside being a fan of “Dis Generation” was because she wanted to talk to someone (70% of teenagers feel more comfortable talking to “someone”). Inspired by her, here is calling out for more Peer Support Programs and Trained Peer Moderators on Bullying! Bullying is a very upsetting and offensive act that must never be tolerated in silence. Have you ever been bullied? Do you know someone who is currently being bullied? Don’t just stand and do nothing, call a counselor or someone in authority for help. At least that was one of the advice I gave to my young friend. She sounded pessimistic about it though. “Ah, I’m afraid oh!” the threats of bullies sometimes discourages one from finding help but then, calling the attention of parents or teachers to take action against it will stop the bully from further abusing you and others.

DADDY'S MAKE-OVER

Happy fathers’ day! Today is a day set aside not just to celebrate one father but to celebrate fatherhood, male parenting and honour fathers all over the world starting from the one closest to us! A father is a man, son, brother, nephew, uncle, godfather, grandfather, a role model and of course a friend! We should honour them everyday but most importantly today by giving them special gifts to appreciate them for who they are- a good father.

From their everyday activities as the head of the house to their office where they give or receive orders, fathers strive to build the nation but they are eventually shaped into persons we wish they are not. The quiet and loving dad becomes unusually agitated around the house due to the pressure from work that keeps him ever busy. They begin to loose touch with their children’s unbringing and loose touch with themselves in the rat race. Unconciously, they allow the norms to turn them into full-time money-making-machine (MMM). But all the same, they live up to their responsibility and remain our fathers- we can’t change that!

But what if you could change something about your Dad, what will it be? Here are some of the responses I received in a public poll conducted among young people on the topic “Daddy’s make-over”:
If I could make my Daddy over, I would like to take away the anger in him. I know it is not easy to be a Dad but it doesn’t mean one should be always angry.
I will want my Dad to learn to cheerish his children’s education. He needs to give his life to Christ so that all other things can be added to him.
I will like to reduce the way he complains about my dressing.
I will like to make him believe more in his children
My Popsi is stingy and cold. I will like to change that.
My father needs to be more interested in the education of his children. Right now he considers it a waste of reosources.
I will like to change my Dad into a woman
My father is always saying he does not have money and gets worked-up when I ask for money.
My Dad has taught me to be optimistic about life. I don’t want to make him over. I will like to buy him a car and change his work.
I am not in good terms with my father. He is easily influenced by other people’s opinion. This is one thing I will like to change!

It is amazing how much we want to change our father for the better. Do you think we can begin this make-over session by simply loving them the way they are and appreciating them more? For instance, 80% of the people who participated in this poll did not even know today is father’s day! Fathers are too significant for their day to be insignificant. Well, here is calling out to all father’s sons and daughters to celebrate their Dad.

WHEN IS CHANGE?

Looking at the situation in Nigeria and considering the level of corruption, it sometimes makes one to wonder if ever change would take place. Taking a case study of the just concluded Senior Secondary School Examination, it was discouraging to learn how very little our youths believe in "studying to show one's self approve". Yes, they no longer believe that they can study and pass an exam.

I remember very well standing before some students in a school, and advising them to work towards their examination with all diligence and dedication and also seal their efforts with prayers and trust in God. I actually shared my experience with them and the Joy that I got when I received my SSCE result back in 1998. I was indeed convinced that these same students who had listened with rapt attention were ready for change, to work hard and pray to achieve the best.

However, the reverse was the case. It was so disheartening to hear about the fraudulent activities and all manner of corruption that took place during the examination. What really broke my heart was seeing the same students throw caution (and their commitment to fight corruption) to the wind as they all ran to also partake in the purchase of questions and answers of the subjects they were about to write. Someone asked me “what can you do to stop them from such act?” It was so sad. The situation seemed uncontrollable. And my heart has kept asking me “will there ever be a change against corruption in our Nation, Nigeria ?”

How do we build a better society for tomorrow’s leaders who also seem to be swimming in the pool of corruption? What foundation can we build for the next generation? I wonder why a parent will look his children say to them “you are slacking and not smart at all” just because they refuse to participate in the examination malpractice. What values is such parent passing on to his child?

Change is what we willed and not what we wish for Nigeria and we will surely experience change. A lot of things will soon be revealed at all levels and those who refuse to embrace change will be left behind. We all must do the right thing at all times, no matter the cost, and pass the same values to others, especially the young ones. The time for change is now!

Guest Writer: Marcelina E.E.
marcellinae@yahoo.com

DISSING PHCN?

How many students are discouraged from studying at night due to power failure and poor illumination provided by the candlelight? How many businesses have packed-up due to unavailability of electricity to operate? Well, we are all affected by this poor and ailing state of Power Holding Company of Nigeria! On one hand, there is hope, experts say all we need to reverse the trend is about 24 refineries and 50,000 megawatts, MW of electricity generation. On the other hand, Nigerians sign in disappointment as President Yar'adua's declaration of state of emergency on the power sector is yet to yield any effective result as others chirp on "corruption leaves Nigeria in the dark".

Perhaps, it is in this same state of frustration that someone created a group named "Protest against power outage in Nigeria". If you have never heard of such group then get on Facebook. Oh! well, Facebook is a unique social network that connects people with friends all over the world. Basically, people use it to keep up with friends, upload of photos, share links and videos, and learn more about people and real-life issues. It is also made up of many fun networks, each based around a company, region, or school. One of such is the "Protest against power outage in Nigeria" that gives Nigerians online the opportunity to reflect, learn and debate on issues around PHCN.

"Please sign up so we can have a feel of how many Nigerians are fed up with the power cuts. It is so frustrating sometimes that you get so close to tears and its so pitiful for such a great Nation..." these were the sincere words I saw on the group page that endeared me to join despite my initial reluctance to accept the invitation. From the way activities are booming on the page, it is obvious that indeed young Nigerians are tired of the epileptic state of electricity. It is true that sometimes when you share your frustration with people who experience similar things, you feel a little relief. As it seems, this group was not originally created to solve the our electricity problem but who knows by giving the issue a face on Facebook, in the process of vexed discussion, we might stumble on an idea to liberate us from the situation!

The PHCN challenge and all its flaws have been given a global platform where hopefully more people can express their dissatisfaction freely, create a global awareness on such an important issue and chart a way forward for change! Imagine a society where we can celebrate one day, then one week and then everyday of uninterrupted power supply! It will bring an end to the environmental pollution caused by exhausts from all manner of generators and the resentment we feel towards PHCN sector will fade away!

FOR THE LOVE OF MAY

The month of May has three significant dates worth celebrating, especially because it provides Nigerians with opportunity to reflect purposefully on different issues of great importance. The first of such dates is May 1^st- Worker’s day that celebrates the Tax payers, I mean workers for their immense contribution to National development. Then we have the heart warming May 27^th- children’s day and the resounding historical May 29^th -Democracy day that commemorate the return of democracy in Nigeria since 1999. Thus, one can rightly say that the month of May indeed provides a unique opportunity for Nigerians and all who watch our country with keen interest, to deliberate on the past, present and future condition of our society in its entire ramification.

For instance, May 27^th is not just a day set aside for Children to party, It is also a day where critical issues affecting the Nigeria child are looked into by key stakeholders, including children, in order to draw an action plan to ameliorate the situation. We seek to find answers to questions like “why are about 10 million Nigerian Children not in school despite the free education provided by the government?”. I do not intend to startle you with any statistics of the current state of an average Nigerian child, which you can find from other sources, however, I’d like to urge you not to stop contributing your quota towards securing a better future for this generation.

Starting with your children (or siblings), neighbor’s, and the almost forgotten street children, simple steps that can be taken to improve their lives includes beings a good role model, having in mind that most children learn by watching; showing more support and love to ensure the rights of these children are not trampled upon and most importantly help create an enabling environment for them to grow and develop into responsible youths willing to sustain the future.

I will like to echo the deep words of Nat Keefe who was featured in an edition of Roots and Shoots newsletter. In the interview with Shawn Sweeney, the guitarist and vocalist of “Hot Buttered Rum (HBR)” band was asked about his hope for future generations and here is his response: I go back and forth being optimistic and pessimistic about the way things are going. There’s no guarantee that humanity is destined for greatness. I’m worried that the clever and cut throat instincts that got humans to where we are will also be our undoing. At the same time, it is amazing how far things have come. Some of the best young minds are going to work towards positive change and people are really getting organized. I’m going to continue to do my little part.

Now lets think deeply, as we celebrate this year’s Children’s Day, about the hope we have for future generations. Happy Children’s day and of course a peaceful Democracy day celebration in advance!

ONE RAIN MANY TROUBLE!

Yesterday’s rain is one most Lagosians, especially Ogba Residents will not forget easily. At about 5pm when most workers were preparing to call it a day at their place of duty, and evening traders set out to display their wares in their market stall, the rain came pouring heavily without a warning. I was among those thrown into a state of confusion as we ran helter skelter in search of shelter from the storm. We had just closed from school, thus most of us students were still hanging around the bus stop when the rain started. From the small kiosk where I sort solace from the storm, I watched in awe as some traders who already have their wares in display struggle to pack up but to no avail as they were forced by the magnitude of the rain to run into hiding, thus abandoning their goods. Biscuits, apples, vegetable, tomatoes etc. were some of the goods that were seen floating in the flooded street.
Meanwhile, the now waist-leveled flood hindered pedestrian movement as nobody wanted to risk falling into the gutter that was covered by the flood. The massive downpour which lasted for about 3 hours left most people sighing in disappointment because of the troubles and suffering such heavy downpour brings to commuters. Most roads become a no-go-area; thus most travelers are left stranded at bus stops! Many houses are also flooded during the raining season to mention but a few troubles.
After the rain, most traders counted lose due to business disruption. Commuters were not left out in the negative fallouts of the rain; they were seen making long walks due to lack of vehicles. Most of the vehicles were stuck in the traffic jam caused by impatient drivers, flooded roads etc. Moreover, some of the public buses that would have been plying some routes had to stay off because their vehicles lack the needed parts needed to thrive in such a flooded journey. So like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs, such buses packed along the road waiting for the traffic jam and flood to subside.
Rainfall is a blessing, thus we cannot reject it. As the raining season is just starting; this means we will definitely be seeing so much of river-like floods along most of the Lagos roads. The same breeze which blows to expose the anus of the fowl is one that blows each time rain falls to expose the poor drainage system, poor road construction and of course poor building structures people are forced to live in due to accommodation challenge in this part of the world!

ANTI-CORRUPTION CAMPAIGN

Recently, in an inter-cultural conference, I was approached by someone who said “I hear in Nigeria , the airport officials are very corrupt”. Well, I thought to myself, what can I say? Prior to my flying to the USA , I personally witnessed the corruption of one of the officials. He was entrusted with the responsibility of manning the departure entrance, thus he monitored the kind and number of people entering the airport. He proudly announced to travelers as they entered the airport that only one person was allowed to see-off their family or friend but alas! To my disappointment, on this occasion, I saw him let down his guard and bend this rule after he was offered a bribe by a woman.

Even though the one action of this man doesn’t sum up reasonably that all airport officials are corrupt, however, remembering this scene which was vividly strong in my mind, I responded to the young lady’s quip about corruption in Nigeria airport, but not by creating a white-propaganda about Nigeria this young lady was expecting of me. Instead, I replied “isn’t there corruption everywhere?” and to my surprise, she quickly agreed. For a minute I was tempted to ask why she so strongly agree, was there some going on in her country?

It is all depressing to echo the words of one of the Nigerian leaders who affirmed that 90% of Nigerians are corrupt. Just a few days ago, I was stunned (not really) by a publication in one of the evening newspapers about corruption in the on-going WAEC exam. Exam questions were sold on streets before examination commences, the newspaper announced. This sounded really alarming I must confess, especially since the said exam is a major one for all candidates. The exam fraudsters seem to be getting wiser! What measures are being put in place to tackle this issue? Is our anti-corruption campaign loosing its hold against the so called fraudsters? Even Yahoo-Yahoo network, the cyber fraud youths engage in seems to be birthing new apprentices everyday. But we must not loose hope, a radical action must be take else corruption finally break this country into shred!

Back to the issue of corrupt airport officials, another participant in the same international youth gathering did share with me about her good impression of Nigeria . She has never been to Nigeria , but the closest experience of being in Nigeria was at the Lagos airport where she was stranded after her flight was cancelled, but for the help of a stranger- a Nigerian, she has no idea how she would have coped. Now talk about the 10% incorruptible Nigerians who seems insignificant but who are building the Nation in their own way! My good friend will never forget the kindness of this Nigerian despite the blaze about Nigeria being corrupt. Now I ask, are you among the 90% of corrupt Nigerians? The actions we take everyday counts!